Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Vodka?
Forever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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