just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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