So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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