kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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