i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
