Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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