and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
