apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
