Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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