do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize