I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
