woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
