Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
