I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
