you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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