OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize