please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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