Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
