oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't turn off my feet"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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