Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
