The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
