I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
