remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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