I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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