Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
