i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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