that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
