I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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