I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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