Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
