A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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