what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
