absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize