I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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