I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
