We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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