like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
