Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
