She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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