Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
