But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
