Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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