I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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