your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
