I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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