so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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