Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
