Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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