Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
