One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
