I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
