her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
