There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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