its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
