I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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