you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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