Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
