If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
