i may or may not be watching the land before time
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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