Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
