Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
