How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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